Right now in Aesthetic Realism classes and consultations men are learning about this enemy to love in ourselves: the ugly notion Lovelace embodies that there is more power in getting a woman in a tizzy over you than in learning from her and trying to be a friend to her--really liking it when she has integrity and beauty, and hoping she has even more. 

In recent months as I have been coming to know Aesthetic Realism consultant Carrie Wilson I have been deeply affected by her kindness and knowledge, the way she thinks with imagination and care about people. Her criticism of me, sometimes given with a useful sense of humor, has me see my family, the people I know and work with, and music, better. As I see her energy working with our colleagues to have Aesthetic Realism reach the American people and justice come to Eli Siegel, I respect it so much. Knowing Carrie Wilson has made me a stronger and more self-critical person, and I love her for this. 

I am grateful too to have learned about a way I lacked good will as I was first seeing Miss Wilson. When we went out, I found myself calculating: who is having a bigger effect on whom? And I'm sorry to say I was irritated because I thought she didn't make enough of me in front of other people and show how deeply I had impressed her! 

In an Aesthetic Realism class Ellen Reiss asked me, "Do you know what to make of Miss Wilson?" "No," I said, "I don't." And she continued, "I think you feel Carrie Wilson doesn't take you with enough deep disturbance." Yes, I said that when we were out with friends: "She hasn't told people how much she respects me for being courageous." "I think," Ellen Reiss commented with critical humor, "you feel Carrie Wilson is too sensible...she's not in a tumult about what Ed Green thinks of her, and I think [you feel] it's insulting." 

EG: It's been four weeks that we've been talking... 

ER: Four weeks--by this time, you feel, she's had enough time to become idiotic! 

This was so true! And in a later class Miss Reiss said so kindly: 

You have gone for wanting to be brilliant and have not felt that steady good will is the greatest brilliance. You should use knowing Carrie Wilson to see, it is!